Will vs Am
You know how they say we should set goals? That we should have a burning desire to make what we want happen, happen? That we should write out the steps needed to accomplish our dream and begin? Act as if we already have achieved it?
And I’ve done so. Time and time again, I’ve set goals, dreamed big, and worked towards accomplishing them. And what I’ve noticed is this: The dreams I’ve had for myself where I’ve started with the thought “I will have”, “I will make”, or “I will be” those are the ones that I have not achieved. However…and this is a BIG however…the dreams where I’ve thought, where I’ve known “I have”, “I make”, or “I am”, those are the dreams that have been realized.
Some examples?
The “I will” dreams:
- I will lose weight before my wedding.
- I will have an amazing office space.
- I will make my first million before I’m 28.
The “I am” dreams:
- I am a college graduate.
- I am making enough money to pay for my debts, bills, and lifestyle.
- I am married to my best friend.
- I am a homeowner.
- I am driving off the lot with a new-to-me-and-even-better-than-my-last car, car.
Notice the magnitude between “I will” and “I am”. It is vast. Life-changing.
The “I will” dreams focus on scarcity. On NOT having, NOT being, NOT doing. Whereas the “I am” dreams, those, even before the actions to achieve these dreams have started, have ALREADY been achieved in the mind. For example, while in high school I knew I’d graduate from college. I didn’t know exactly how I’d graduate from college, but I knew it would happen. It was a done deal. Like placing an order at a restaurant, I had no doubt in my mind that my college graduate dream would show up. Just like my dinner.
The “I will” dreams allow excuses and doubts. The thought is “some day I will have/be/do this, that, thee other. Some day. Some day is an excuse. Some day means I’m not sure IF it’ll actually happen. Hello doubt. Hello excuses. Goodbye dream.
Time to rephrase those earlier dreams of mine that had not yet been realized:
- I am in a healthy weight range for my height.
- I am working in an amazing space.
- I am a millionaire.
Once in a while it really hits people that they don’t have to experience the world in the way they have been told to.
– Alan Keightley
It’s such a pleasure to help those closest to us become happier and healthier. Please forward this blog post to friends, family members or colleagues who might be interested and inspired by it. – SH
About Sara
Sara Hefty (B.B.A. and H.H.C.) teaches workaholic women how to have it all and flourish without burning out, binging or being spiteful. As an expert in transformational health coaching, she holds women accountable for letting go of unwanted weight, being brilliantly nourished, grounded in truth and feeling confident, happy and playful every single day.
As a woman with her own weight loss story, wide-ranging family heritage of cancer, and a graduate of the Institute of Integrative Nutrition, Sara’s appreciation for convenient nutrient-dense food, personal growth, inspiring design, financial responsibility, and social entrepreneurship led to her “Pursuit of Ownership: Health, Home, and Legacy” model of heart-on-fire-hot empowered living.
Sara is the founder of PROJECT LUX and SaraHefty.com. She currently lives in Eau Claire, Wisconsin, with her husband Brian and hound-dog Raja.
Wow Sarah! So happy for you!! I also have a healthy living blog at lizashlee.com. I would love for you to check it out!! Again, congrats!!!
Thank you for your post, Sarah – but I have a question. So do you say “I am” even about things that aren’t true yet? That’s what it sounds like you’re saying. So, I’m overweight, but I would still say “I am at a healthy, strong weight!” – is it to help your brain visualize it more easily? I guess I don’t understand, because saying “I am at a great weight” is not true – it’s lying to myself….
So could you clarify a little more, please? Thanks! Congratulations on your revised goals! 🙂
Hi Liz! Already done! I checked out your site last night/this morning just after my post went live! I love your purple heart-tree header image and love that you share recipes and playlists!!!
Hi Kia!
Yes! Saying “I am” about things that aren’t yet true IS the trick to it all. You need to believe that you’re already where you want to be. Let me repeat that, because it IS the key to it all: You need to believe you are already where you want to be.
So, taking your example, you need to believe, “I am healthy and strong”. You need to KNOW it. And naturally you will begin taking actions to make it happen.
Think of it as utilizing your faith in a new way. Have complete faith that you are “healthy and strong”. Act as if you already are “healthy and strong”. You will become “healthy and strong”. Just as you have complete faith that your meal will show up after you select it off the menu, have complete faith that after your body will be “healthy and strong” after you select it to be so.
You’re not lying to yourself. You’re having faith in yourself, faith in the power that is within you, and faith in something bigger than yourself (God, the Universe, a higher power, etc.) to live and create the life you want.
While I was telling myself “I am in a healthy weight range” never in a million years would I have imagined emergency gall bladder surgery being part of my weight-loss scenario. But it had to happen to reduce the toxicity of my system and restore balance. It’s things like that which I have to chalk up to a higher power. And it’s things like drinking filtered water that reinforce faith in myself and my body-image beliefs.
P.S. I should note that I didn’t realize why I kept losing weight. I was eating what I wanted and doing what I wanted and I was (and am!) happy. Only looking back on the past seven months was I able to see that what I really did was tell myself I am healthy and then acted the part.
I also believe in visualizing what you want. See it